... Part-AY!

I tried something a little different with this post. It's a split perspective between Reid and Allie. It was coming off a little funny in past tense, so I ended up writing it in present tense. I hope that doesn't throw you guys off! 

Let me know what you think in the comments!


**Reid**

I am tense.

I am at Ainsley's holiday party, surrounded by my teammates who are well on their way to getting sloppy drunk. Will and I are losing spectacularly at beer pong to Sarah and Rachel, while Josh and Ainsley heckle us and use any excuse to flirt with each other. Everyone is having a good time, laughing and drinking, but I can't relax because I go rigid with tension every time the front door opens.

I want to drink to loosen up, but I'm worried about getting too loose and opening my stupid fucking mouth and letting out any more of the idiotic thoughts that need to stay crammed down in the deepest, darkest recesses of my brain. Saying those things, those stupid, horrible things, is what got me here in the first place.

Why the hell did I say it?

I've asked myself that a million times since that night at The Foxhole.

I asked myself that when Allie no-showed at the next game, after not missing a single game for months. I asked myself that when she did show up and looked so fucking uncomfortable that it was almost physically painful to be around her. I asked myself that when she deliberately snubbed me to cozy up to Jay, and again when she sauntered out without saying so much as a goddamn word to me.

And I'm asking myself that again tonight, every single time the door opens and my entire body winds tight at the thought of facing her again.

Why the hell did I say it?

I am a faithful guy, loyal as a dog and proud of it. I'm married to a woman who is beautiful inside and out. A woman who helped pull me out of the wreckage that was the first eighteen years of my life, and to whom I owe all of my happiness. In the ten years that Sarah and I have been together, I've never so much as toed the line of infidelity. I've stayed so far from that fucking line that I couldn't even see it.

And now, somehow, I'm at the edge of that line and it's staring me right in the face. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Okay, so Allie is gorgeous. It's not like I've never seen a hot girl before. Even one who sets my skin buzzing and my heart racing any time she accidentally brushes against me. Who wouldn't be attracted to her? It's not like it means anything.

Sure, she is cool, and smart, and hilarious. She makes me laugh my ass off and I can't believe some of the funny, sarcastic shit that comes out of her mouth. But that's a quality that I like in a lot of people, namely my stupid best friend whose cocky face I feel like punching in half of the time these days.

And yes, she has a shockingly soft side to her that she very rarely shows and which shot straight through me like a bullet when I caught a glimpse of it. Yes, I was honoured that she let me past her barriers. Just like I'd feel honoured to earn the trust of any friend.

Because that's what we are. Friends. I know that. I've been telling myself that over and over.

That's why I feel protective towards her. Like when that goon took a run at her. Or when my fucking player of a best friend wouldn't stop smiling at her, and looking at her in that you-know-you-want-me way, and making her laugh at his stupid jokes. I'm a protective guy, and I am protective towards Allie because we're friends. That's what I keep telling myself.

So, why the hell did I say it?

Maybe it's because a girl like Allie is so far out of my league that I would never even consider the possibility that she'd look at me twice. That's what made it so easy to be friends with her. I knew she had a boyfriend, probably a freaking heart surgeon that looks like Ryan Gosling's long lost twin brother and spends his free time doing triathlons and saving puppies. That's what I told myself.

I've been telling myself a lot of things.

And every single one of those things that I've been telling myself were shot straight to hell when Gavin walked into that bar. A nice, ordinary guy. The kind of guy you walk past ten times a day. Good-looking, but not remarkably so. Funny, but in a quiet way that doesn't command a lot of attention. Just a normal guy.

That guy could be anyone.

That guy could be me.

There it is. The insane, jealous thought that caused me to open my stupid mouth and ruin my friendship with Allie. The crazy, ridiculous thought that I have tried to beat out of my brain and which refuses to die. The torturous thought that has my mind constantly spinning on a hamster wheel. The sickening thought that has me tensing every time the door opens.

And then it opens and my heart pounds and I want to throw up because she's here.

**Allie**

Of course, the first people I lay eyes on are the very last people I want to see. I tear my eyes away from Reid and Rachel and roll my shoulders back, forcing a smile to my face as Ainsley and Josh bound over to me, practically tackling me with drunken hugs.

Luckily, Ainsley drags me to the kitchen right away so that I can mix myself a drink. God knows I'm going to need one. I pour healthy splash of vodka into a Solo cup, and after only a brief hesitation, add another splash. I fill the cup with Sprite and make mindless small talk with Ainsley in the kitchen, knowing that every minute is bringing me closer to the hour mark when I can make my excuses and get the hell out of here.

I avoid it for as long as I can, but eventually I'm dragged back into the living room where most of the team is clustered. I plop down on the couch and chat with Jen, barely taking in a word of what she's saying because I am concentrating so hard on pretending to have fun. My face hurts from fake smiling.

The beer pong game ends and I down the rest of my drink so I have an excuse to leave the room. Instead of heading to the kitchen, I veer off down the hallway to the bathroom, which luckily hasn't been barfed in yet. I sit down on the toilet and drop my head in my hands, taking deep breaths to try and release the tension that's tying my stomach up in knots. Fighting the urge to cry, I stand up and splash cold water from the sink on the back of my neck.

When I look in the mirror, I appear calm and relaxed. There are only a few tiny hints that give me away, but they'd only be noticeable to someone who really knows me. Nothing that my teammates, most of whom are half in the bag already, will pick up on. I take a few more deep breaths to prepare myself, summoning my composure.

I have to fight hard for that composure when I open the door and find myself face-to-face with Reid.

**Reid**

A flicker of emotion - Anger? Hurt? - plays across Allie's face before she can control it into the mask she's been wearing since she got here. She might appear happy, but it's not genuine; there's a tightness to her smile and a flatness in her eyes that give her away.

I instinctively take a step backwards and she moves past me wordlessly. I know that this is a chance, maybe my only chance, to make things right and panic grips me as she starts to walk away. Without really knowing what I'm doing, I blurt, "Allie, wait."

She stops and turns, looking at me warily, one brow raised. She doesn't say anything, just stares me down as I clear my throat and struggle to get words out. I'm sweating and my tongue feels like an ineffectual block of cement in my mouth. She's not going to make it easy on me.

Finally I manage to sputter out, "I know you're pissed at me."

She raises both eyebrows now. "I'm not sure  pissed is the right word."

I drop my eyes and stare at the carpet for a second. I force myself to look back at her and say, "I'm sorry. For what I said at The Foxhole. I know I was out of line."

She lets out a little huff of air. "Seriously? That's what you think I'm upset about?"

I'm truly confused now. "What do you mean?"

"Reid, come on," she says, shaking her head at me like I'm an idiot. "Yeah, I felt weird about what you said, but I wasn't mad about it."

"You weren't?" I say, surprised.

"No. I mean, sure, I felt kind of awkward, but I only got angry when you started completely ignoring me. You've been acting like I don't exist! That's why I'm pissed at you!"

Her voice shakes on her last few words and I drop my head again, swallowing hard. I know that what she's saying is true and I hate seeing the hurt flashing in her eyes, barely masked by her anger.

"I'm sorry," I say again. "I just felt like such an idiot for saying what I said, and I didn't know how to fix it, so I just..." My voice trails off and I shrug.

"So you just avoided me," she finishes for me, her voice wavering with anger. "Well, that's shitty and I don't deserve it."

"I know you don't," I say grimly. "I handled it really badly. I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry."

For a moment we just stand there, neither of us looking at each other. Finally, I manage to gather enough courage to break the silence. "I know I've been a complete idiot, but is there any way that we can forget all of this happened and go back to being friends? I hate how things are right now."

She raises half her mouth in a smile and nods. "Yeah, I do too."

That small, barely anything smile is what finally allows me to release the tight tension in my chest. "I've really missed being friends with you," I say, looking straight into her eyes almost pleadingly. "I don't want to lose that."

Her smile is almost a real one now, and she looks up at me with such soft vulnerability that I hate myself even more for having hurt her. "I don't either."

"Okay then," I say, exhaling deeply. "So we're cool?"

She nods happily. "We're cool."

"Alright," I say, smiling tentatively back at her.

"Okay, well I'm going to head back," she says slightly awkwardly, turning to go.

I stop her with a hand on her shoulder. "I really am sorry," I say one last time, needing her to know I that I mean it. Needing that awkwardness to disappear once and for all.

Her smile is bright now and she raises an eyebrow at me. "You know, I think you might have mentioned that," she says teasingly. That little bit of laughter in her voice is what finally tells me that we are back to normal.

I laugh and let her go. I have no idea how I managed to fix this, but it's fixed and that's all that matters. I walk into the bathroom feeling a hundred pounds lighter.

**Allie**

The smile stays on my face as I rejoin the group. Reid's apology takes a weight off of my shoulders, and I actually start to enjoy the party. When he comes into the room and immediately joins in with the conversation that I'm having, I feel a warm rush of joy. I hold on to that feeling, letting it insulate me from Rachel's ongoing icy silence.

It's a lot easier to avoid one person than two, and I stop watching the clock for the moment that I can make my exit. I manage to have a good time while keeping a healthy distance from Rachel.

I have to fight to keep the surprise from my face when she makes her way over to where I'm chatting with Ainsley, Sarah, and Reid. Ainsley and I are rejoicing the end of exams and Sarah asks, "Do either of you have any big plans for the holiday break?"

Ainsley shakes her head and I answer, "No, just the typical family stuff."

"Really? I would've thought that you and Gavin would have all sorts of things planned!" Sarah says, almost sounding disappointed. "You two are so adventurous!"

Rachel rolls her eyes and says under her breath, "You have no idea."

I go rigid, heat rising in my cheeks. Of course, I know exactly what she's referring to. I'm hoping against hope that her cryptic remark will pass without comment when Ainsley asks, "What do you mean?"

"Oh nothing," Rachel says, her voice spiteful, "Just the fact that another couple asked Allie and Gavin to have a foursome with them when they were in Greece... and they almost did it."

My insides freeze. I see the shock ripple across the others' faces and I know my own is burning red with humiliation. Rachel looks shocked too, like she can't believe that she actually said it.

I can't believe it either. Can't believe that she'd reveal something so personal, something told in confidence, just because we are in a stupid fight. I look right into her eyes and let her feel the weight of her words, watching her face flush pink with shame. Her mouth opens as if to say something, but no words come out.

I look away from her and my eyes catch Reid's. His face is frozen in an expression of almost comical surprise. I can't imagine what he must be thinking right now. I cringe and flush even deeper.

I'm going to kill Rachel.

**Reid**

Images flash through my head and I'm powerless to stop them. Allie and Gavin. Allie with another girl. Allie and Gavin with another couple.

Allie with me.

I think my head is going to explode.