Aftershocks

Wow! I was blown away by the responses on my last post! I love how invested you guys are becoming in the story. 

I've been working hard to finish the posts before I leave on Monday (eeeeeek!). There will be one more post before I go and then at least one a week while I'm away!

*****

After a moment of what felt like interminable silence, I managed to force a smile to my face and choke out a laugh. I looked around the circle without really looking at anyone and tried to approximate my usual joking tone. "Shots for 1€ will do that to you! Luckily we woke up and came to our senses before joining their harem."

My scarlet face belied my light-hearted words but luckily, everyone played along so we could get past the awkward moment. Soon we were caught up comparing stories of the craziest things we'd ever done while drunk, and when Josh chimed in and started detailing his exploits, I made a subtle exit.

I made a beeline straight for my purse and texted Gavin. 911! Please get here as fast as humanly possible! 

I heard someone behind me and threw a fake smile on my face, which immediately died when I turned to face Rachel.

She looked incredibly uncomfortable, like she wanted to crawl out of her own skin. A brief pang of sympathy rose inside of me, but I crushed it. Why should I care about her feelings when she'd just firebombed mine?

We stood in a silent standoff, with me staring coldly as Rachel looked at the floor. There was no way that I was going to be the one to speak first.

She finally looked up at me, her mouth opening and closing, with no words coming out. She shook her head, swallowed hard and finally managed to whisper, "I'm so sorry."

I laughed, a short, harsh laugh that made Rachel flinch. "Oh you're sorry. Well that fixes everything, then!" I spat sarcastically.

"Allie, I feel so terrible. I never meant to say that. It just came out, and I -"

I cut off Rachel's tremulous words, hissing through my teeth, "Are you fucking kidding me right now? It didn't just "come out," Rachel. You deliberately said it to humiliate me."

Rachel shook her head fervently. "It wasn't like that! I was just so annoyed and -"

"You were annoyed," I parroted back in a biting voice. "So that justifies exposing something that I told you in confidence to half of our team."

Her eyes dropped, shining with tears.

"Can you even imagine how I felt just now?" I asked, my voice cracking. I was near to tears but there was no way I was going to give in to them in front of Rachel. I cleared my throat and continued in a cold, bitter voice. "Well, I hope it was worth it."

She looked up at me, tears streaming freely now. Rachel hated confrontations, avoided them at all costs. She'd always had such a hard time defending herself when we were younger. Rhi and I had always felt protective of her because of it. She would shrink like a defenceless little mouse whenever anyone came at her. As she cowered in front of me, I felt that usual protective instinct rise, but I pushed it aside as I moved to walk past her and out of the room.

She held out a hand to stop me and cried out, "Allie, wait! Please just talk to me!"

Her voice broke over her words and I felt something crack inside of me. But anger rose too, anger that Rachel was once again playing the little innocent victim even though she was the one who hurt me. I'm sick of being the bad guy, I thought to myself as I whirled around.


"You want to know why you're on the outside, Rachel? Why Rhi and I are so close and you're the one left out? Well, you just answered your own question. A real friend doesn't throw her friends under the bus, no matter how pissed off she is. Rhiannon would never have done what you just did, not in a million years. And I would never have done it to her. Or to you."

Rachel let out a miserable sob, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably as her tears took over. She looked so pathetic and part of me, a big part, wanted to just let it go, hug her, and make her feel better. But my pride wouldn't allow it. I hardened my heart, turned away, and stalked out of the room.

At that exact moment, my phone buzzed in my hand. Gavin had responded, I'll be there in ten minutes. 

Ten minutes was a long time to wait outside in December, but there was no way I was letting Gavin walk in here when details of his sex life had just been laid bare. Who knows how far that story had spread by now? Tears of anger and humiliation threatened behind my eyes, and I strode purposefully to the door to grab my coat. Freezing cold was preferable to burning humiliation.

I was just slipping my arms into my coat when a voice from behind me asked, "You taking off?"

I looked over my shoulder at Reid. "Yeah," I smiled tightly at him. "It's been a long night."

He grimaced. "That was pretty rough just now. Are you okay?"

My face flamed all over again at the all too recent memory. "Just extremely embarrassed, that's all." I shrugged. "I might come off as a spotlight hugger like Josh, but I like to keep my private life private, you know?"

He nodded, his face sympathetic. "Well just so you know, Sarah and I won't say anything to anyone. I can't speak for Ainsley, but I don't think she would, either."

I raised one side of my mouth in a half-hearted smile. "Thanks. I appreciate it."

"No worries. How are you getting home?"

"Oh, Gavin's picking me up," I tried to recapture my breezy tone. "He'll be here any minute now." I put my hand on the door handle to head outside.

"Allie, it's freezing outside and you're wearing like half a dress under that coat. You're not waiting outside."

I dropped my head. "Honestly Reid, I just really need to not be here right now."

"It's really not as bad as you think," he said earnestly, stepping between me and the door. "None of us think any less of you. Stop agonizing over it."

I lifted a shoulder to acknowledge his words. The embarrassment stung, but the blowout with Rachel was what had really shattered me. It wasn't something that I could just shake off.

The image of Rachel's pleading face popped into my mind, and once again, tears sprung to my eyes. I turned away and cleared my throat, blinking furiously to try and ward them off.

"Allie," Reid said, his voice low and gravelly with concern.

His sweet sympathy made it even harder to hold the tears back. I swiped at my cheeks as they began to fall and smiled weakly up at him. "I'm sorry," I said. "I really hate crying in front of people."

In response, he slung an arm around me and gently pulled me to his side. He stroked my hair soothingly as I gave into my tears. "It's okay," he murmured softly.

We stayed like that for a few minutes before I finally sniffled back the last of my tears and drew away. I looked up at him, worn out from the rollercoaster emotions of the evening and beginning to feel self-conscious about crying in front of him. "Sorry about that. You make for a good shoulder to cry on," I said.

"I've got a little sister," he said, shrugging.
"Letting her cry on my shoulder comes with the big brother territory."

"Well she's lucky to have you," I said, sincerely. "You're a really good guy."

He blushed and smiled at me. "I try."

His face was illuminated by headlights as a car swung into the driveway. I peeked through the window and recognized Gavin's car. "That's Gav," I said. I turned towards the door, before changing my mind and turning back to Reid. I stepped closer to him and gave him a quick, hard hug before pulling back once more. I looked right in his eyes and said, "Thank you. For everything you did tonight. It means a lot."

He looked down at me with such a sweet, gentle smile that I couldn't believe I'd walked in this very door fuming at him. "Anytime," he said, and the warmth in his voice brought an answering smile to my face.

"Have a good night," I said softly. "And Merry Christmas."

"You too," he replied.

I shot him one last smile before slipping out the door. I scurried quickly to Gavin's car, eager to put this night behind me.